it is begining to bother me that jem and i are the only single people left in our group of friends and seemingly the wider world.
last night i arranged to meet china girl for drinks after work and she showed up with computer boy. i wasn't upset or angry. i think hes a pretty cool guy and he makes her happy so it didn't bother me. when i went home though i started to realise that everyone has someone. all the people i know, no matter now weird or screwed up their relationships are not alone.
it didn't help that the boy text me again. after taking the "he just not that into you" advice of operah and the very gay looking guy who wrote the book i had not replyed to him for a few weeks. but im weak and caved yesterday. i said i would meet up with him. he bailed again. surprise surprise. i want to be mad at him but in truth you can only get screwed around if you let yourself get screwed around. stupid stupid girl that i am.
adding insult to injury the belated xmas card from old family friends in england brought news that farm boy - two years older than me and perfect in every way (gorgous, smart, hilarious, wonderful british accent and lives in the same district as madonna) - is engaged and getting married. was i ever going to marry him? no. i don't even want to get married. i also don't want to be alone. god that sounds all kinds of pathetic just typing it.